The Morning Routine: An Experiment Pt. 2
By Scott Salsman, M.S., Leadership Consultant + Associate at Coffee on Leadership
We did it. One month. 20 minutes a day. A lot happened this past month. I learned, I researched, I had lots of conversations, and I tried to sit still for 20-minutes a day. This experiment challenged me in ways I did not expect. I think of myself as someone who is always up for a challenge but this was different. I wasn’t competing for anything, there was no prize, and really no tactile way to measure improvement.
I was playing this game against myself.
The challenge wasn’t sitting still every day or setting aside the time to practice mindfulness. The challenge came during those 20 minutes, when I had nowhere to go but sit with every thought that pushed its way to the top of my consciousness. I don’t know how many of us are ready to face our own minds and I can tell you, at the start of this process, I was one of them.
We live and participate in a fast-paced “if you aren’t first, you’re last” society. There is always a new show to binge-watch, a new podcast to listen to (plug for Coffee on Leadership’s podcast), or hours of online media consumption. We have moved away from listening to ourselves and replaced it with listening to other people. In a lot of ways, this is safer, it’s easier to process and make sense of.
It’s easier to judge or be envious of someone. It’s easier to feel like we are learning and growing through a screen or a pair of headphones. But when all of that is stripped away, where does our critique, our time, or our attention turn? Are we ready to face our thoughts? Are we prepared to tackle the problems of our own world? Are we even ready to sit with ourselves and just be?
This past year has taken a significant toll on millions of people across the globe. There has been racial and social injustice, a global pandemic, a presidential election, job loss, loved ones lost, and isolation. In short, it’s been a lot to process. As a society, we have been unable to connect with the people that we go to for support and love when we are struggling the most. Many people have had nowhere to turn but inward.
Through this process, I discovered that mindfulness isn’t about becoming a more optimal performer or being more productive. Sure, these can be byproducts, but they aren’t at the core. At the innermost point of mindfulness is empathy, compassion, and care both for yourself and for others.
Before I started this journey, I thought mindfulness was about clearing my thoughts. About being dialed in so I could be ultra-productive. What I learned was that those desired outcomes of productivity are what actually drove me to this place of running. The desire to keep pushing and grinding through my days left no time to think, feel or process the weight of this past year. What I thought I wanted was actually the problem. The thought of productivity was masking the processing of a collective heaviness.
Mindfulness isn’t about eliminating your thoughts. It isn’t about placing judgment, shame, or frustration on yourself or others. Mindfulness is about truly living and being focused on the present moment - being here, right now, with nowhere to go. It is about letting your thoughts come to the surface and as you acknowledge them you let them pass. This building of empathy and self-compassion was a huge mindset shift for me. I thought I was doing mindfulness to perform better throughout my day, but what I learned was that in order to perform better, I needed to better understand myself.
This practice has bled into other parts of my life. I feel more present and engaged with my family and work. My screen time on my phone has gone down. I am not worried about if I am going to miss a text or an Instagram story. For me, mindfulness has turned into a way to practice engaging in the present moment in a fully authentic way. Really, I think that is what I was looking for but did not have the language or framework on how to get there. How can I be in the moment, engaged with the people around me, and not worried about my phone, my to-do list, or my collective output for the day? In a weird way, I think I built a greater sense of trust within myself. In a year where disconnection was the norm, I want to be as connected as possible with others, and that starts with authentically engaging in the present.
Final thoughts:
Mindfulness is for everyone – The goal is accessibility, not perfection.
Slowing down shouldn’t be a luxury - it is actually a necessity for high performance.
Your body is sending your brain 11 million bits of information per second. On average your brain can only process about 50 pieces of this information. Aside from the serious compression happening, we just consume more information than we are capable of deciphering. Give yourself grace.
Personally, I wasn’t more productive because I was more focused. I was more productive because I finally became okay with productivity not dictating my daily successes.
Everyone can work on self-empathy, and self-compassion. It is at the core of understanding yourself and those around you on a deeper level.
I will leave you all with an exercise adapted from Dr. Michael Gervais and the Compete to Create Team. This was the gateway into mindfulness practices for me. It will take you 2 minutes before you get out of bed.
1) Take a deep breath
2) Set your intention for the day. Not what you need to do but how do you want to be
3) Say one thing you are grateful for and one word why
4) Put your feet on the ground. Take a breath and jump into your day.
Take it day by day, week by week, and see where it takes you. You have nowhere to be but here right now. Good luck, I’m rooting for you.