Unpacking Change + Transitions of the Past Year
By Alpha Joy Lawson, M.S., Leadership Consultant + Associate at Coffee on Leadership
Change is constant and inevitable, for better or for worse. The general census is that change is for the worse, but that does not necessarily have to be a one-dimensional understanding about change. When change happens, it is an opportunity to process the transitions that occur within the change. You may be wondering, “What is the difference?” Keep reading, and you’ll learn a little something about change and transitions. You might just gain an additional dimension of understanding about change, which is where the real magic happens: The Transition.
To start, let’s define change and transition (based on Bridges Transition Model):
Change is what happens to us, the external circumstances that we may not always have control over. Change tends to happen fast and quick. Think about it - what change have you experienced recently? Hold onto that thought as you keep reading.
Transition is how we manage the change - it’s the internal processing of the external circumstances of change. Transitions take a little more time, work, energy, and intentionality.
Here’s what I’ve learned about transitions - each of us approach and respond differently based on the type of transition, whether it was expected, planned, anticipated, or unexpected.
Remember that recent change you experienced? Whether it was a job, house, relationship, life stage, here are some common approaches of transitions that come with change:
Embrace: Accept and own it
Celebrate: Acknowledge the gain
Avoid: Keep away from
Disengage: Separate or release
Resist: Fight against
Grieve: Process the loss
Which approach do you most resonate with? How do you tend to approach transitions?
Let’s dive a little bit deeper for understanding…
Based on the above approach you most resonate with, reflect on why you are approaching it that way.
If you’re avoiding the transition - Why are you doing so? What about the transition are you avoiding?
If you’re embracing the transition - What is allowing you to embrace the transition?
If you’re disengaging - What are you in denial about?
If you’re celebrating the transition - Why are you able to do so?
Or if you aren’t able to celebrate, what are you grieving about the transition and why?
If you’re resisting the transition, or even avoiding - Reflect on what you’re trying to hold onto? What are you unwilling to let go of and why?
Here is an example that we can all relate to:
This last year changed from the normal, in-person year to a fully remote, online, digital, socially distanced experience. This was a significant change that happened to us, something fully outside of our control.
The hope is that you’ve processed your emotions, feelings, and thoughts about this change.
Or maybe, you haven’t fully processed this change, and leaned into this current transition... Transitions are bittersweet. There’s something gained and something lost.
What are you grieving?
What are you celebrating?
How complex is it to know that we can manage a transition with various emotions of sadness, joy, confusion, hope, frustration, etc? You’re allowed to feel all of it at once to experience wholeness.
Change is inevitable, change is constant. As humans, we tend to resist change.
However, change is good, because growth is good. We don’t want to be complacent so that we can grow and become better versions of ourselves each day.
So - are we actually afraid of change itself? Or are we more afraid of the emotions and impacts that come with change?
Are we afraid of being stretched outside of our comfort zone?
Are we afraid of truth?
Are we afraid of reconciling expectations vs realities?
Are we afraid of experiencing something different?
These are questions to think about so that you can process the transitions of the change you’ve experienced. What does it look like to be whole in transition?
To embrace all that you are feeling, thinking, and experiencing - to lean in and grow - and to give yourself space and permission to feel all of it. However, you can’t stay there. Because what if there are other parts of ourselves on the other side of this transition that will make us whole?
So now that you’ve learned a little bit more about change and transitions, here is the invitation: Take some time to reflect on the change(s) you’ve recently experienced. Have you taken the time to process the transition?
Maybe change isn’t half bad after all, if we can walk away from it better than before.